Welcome to my blog about....well ...ME! Hope I don't bore you all to tears! I intend this blog to be about my journey to setting the beautiful skinny person inside this fat shell of a body free. So lets sit back and enjoy the ride! yeeeehhhaaaa

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


Well, its task 2 of the pre-season of 12WBT .....no more excuses.  Took me 3 hours, 25 pages of handwriting and a HUGE lightbulb moment......HOWEVER

I FOUND ME!  I've glimpsed her.  She is in there.  If anyone has read Stephanie Myer's THE HOST I feel like Melanie....screaming to be let out again and making my presence felt.

So, its time for me to be gut wrenchingly honest with myself.  To acknowledge my excuses and say HASTA LA VISTA EXCUSES and HOLA!!! to a bright fantastic new goddess....ME!  (thanks Anita Revel for your wonderful book The Goddess Diet too!)

So here goes.  This is me.  My inner most thoughts.  WARNING language will be brutal!  SECOND ALERT.....this could BORE you all to tears!  Remember I RAMBLE!!!!!

MY INTERNAL EXCUSES ....and solutions

I'm not motivated enough...... JFDI!  Like getting up, having a shower, brushing teeth....just do it! 
When times get hard, remind yourself how horrible and gross it is to be a slob.  You won't go out with no make up on, or brushing your teeth!  So, start each and every day with cleaning the soul too through exercise!

Nothing like this has worked before......but we are approaching this differently.  We aren't jumping into a diet and saying 'oh this is the wrong type of diet for me' and quitting.  We are getting the mindset right first.  We are focusing on being HEALTHY through our food choices, not having to do a specific diet!

It's just another thing to waste money on.....RRREEAALLLLYYY!!!! {eye rolling happening here}.  YOU wasted close to $50 TODAY on going out for lunch and dinner with kids.  If you were organised the day would've only cost you $12 at the pool BBQ!  Now, thats wasting money!

I can't run.  It hurts!!!    HELLO!  You ran the other day.  Yes, only a small distance but its a start!  You have two working legs!  Use them.  Rejoice in the fact that they do work and JFDI!!

Who can really be bothered cooking two dinners?  Why cook two dinners?  Cook 1.  Bobbles won't have a stir fry?  Then cook potato's and whatever meat you add to your stir fry for him.  Will take no extra time and you'll burn about 10 calories peeling that potato!

Bobbles and the kids won't like the meals?  Why not?  They like salads!  They eat vege's!  If they don't like something organise an alternative MENTAL NOTE.....that big O word is coming up alot!

I'M JUST TOO LAZY....You have to get out of bed each day!  So get out early and exercise, which your doing now anyway, and ENJOYING!  You have to eat each day and cook each day.  It's really NO extra work.

I'm too fat for half the exercises.....Well, stick to this and you won't be.  The exercises will get easier as you go along. (and every time I hear my belly fat slap together it will motivate me to stop being so fat!)

It's too expensive to buy heaps of extra food....No!  It will probably work out cheaper!  It's more expensive to die of a cardiac arrest cause of the fatty sugary shit you eat.  It's more expensive to be dependant on insulin through being diabetic.  It's more expensive to watch your kids pile on weight through learning bad food habits and then having to pay for them to join WW's etc.

Everything in moderation, including moderation....BULLSHIT {shit, that voice is getting angry with me now)  Chips, chocolate slice, ice cream, sausages in bread isn't moderation.  IT'S FAT! FAT!!! FAT!!! FAT!!! and killing me!  notice how I am now having a tanty with MYSELF!

I'll still be hungry when I've finished the meals....fill up on water.  Eat some fruit.  Even better, do something for 20 mins and see if you really are hungry of just used to eating more

It won't work.  Many others pull out of this.  Bet I do too......BUT plenty have succeeded and geeting great results.  How good would it feel to be one of them.

I'll put the weight back on.....Why?  This isn't just a 12 week exercise, its a lifestyle TRANSFORMATION!

Who wants to be pre-occupied with food, food, food.....are you not already?  Who wants to be this miserable and pre-occupied with bloatedness, rolling belly slapping together when you exercise, flabby arms, clothes that don't fit....

But I never know what I should eat......DUH!!!!  It's why you signed onto this!

Don't I do enough exercise.....Do you truly push yourself?  NO.  Do you see results?  NO  So the answer is NO!

But I'm exercising and its not doing a thing....HELLO....see above!  Why can't you do an extra 1/2 hour at night?  NO REASON.  JFDI

I didn't have painful joints before I started exercising....okay SSMF....be honest here!  Chest pains?  Unable to climb stairs?  Sitting on floor in tears thinking your having a heart attack but it was just indigestion?  REMEMBER......you were in pain!

I'm just toooo lazy.....UGH {more eye rolling} we have covered this.  It doesn't take much extra time, if any!

I don't like doing anything hard....If you don't push yourself you'll never accomplish anything!  Two years ago you didn't exercise and couldn't even walk the block!  Now, you can walk 4 kms and feel like doing another 4!  You can do 1 min of squatting and holding that squat against the wall (oh those dreaded "chairs"), You can do 19 sit ups in a min, You can hover for a min, 40 secs of that on your toes!

I just can't do this.....why.....time - nup - you've got the time....money - got the money......got the place and the equipment....and look an answer to all these excuses!

I'll fail again....STOP letting that woman's voice in your head!  If you fail...then you have failed at life!  All this is living.  You eat EVERY day.  You move EVERY day.  Your succeeding at that already so continue this only move more and eat better.  DUH....easy!

I'm a quitter!....So what, your solution is to just stay in bed all day and not eat at all!  NO YOU WON'T.  WHEN YOU GET UP...YOU MOVE.  GO OUTSIDE AND WALK.  IF ITS RAINING DO STAR JUMPS, SQUATS....WHEN YOU EAT, EAT HEALTHY WHOLESOME FOODS.

As soon as I want chocolate I won't bother with the food diary and then eventually leading to failure....lets face facts.  You love chocolate.  Chocolate is gonna want to find its way in your mouth on some days.  Acknowledge it.  Write it down.  Then do the following:-  1 min star jumps, 1 min push ups, 1 min plank hold, 1 min crunches, 1 min knees up!
Yep, 5 mins of acknowledgement.  Just try it!  See what happens.  If your still eating too much crap then look for a different technique to overcome this!  YOU CAN DO THIS.  Think size 12!

I exercise, then end up having nanna naps during the day so whats the point?....  at least you got up and exercised.  Better than just lying in bed till some stupid time of the day!

Just like everything else in my life I sit back and wait for fairies to magically appear.  I can't do this on my own....okay SSMF......you are now 35.  It's time you know....Santa claus doesn't truly exist {BREAK NEEDED HERE, sorry need tissues, this news is devastating!}  For Fuck's Sake Paula!  The Fairies aren't coming.  Grow the fuck up!  JFDI!

I'm not organised enough...You exercise now and its easy to organise and find the time.  Clothes are laid out the night before so you can walk straight out the door.  All you need to do when you get home is check what you need to get through the day.  Prepare your lunch when making school lunches.  Get dinner sorted then too...what are you going to have?  BINGO,  Done.  No real extra time or work involved.

Shouldn't I be resting my muscles?.....yes.  This is why you change what you do.  ie walk one day, next day is weights, next balance...

Why should I believe in myself when no-one else believes in me......Prove them wrong!  You can do this.  Moving and eating is as natural as breathing air.  You want clean air in your lungs, you want clean movements for clean pain free joints and clean eating for clean insides!

What is 12 weeks out of a lifetime!  SWEET F ALL!


COST???    Can I afford this.  Already addressed this!  YES, YOU CAN!  Anyway you'll be spending less on alcohol and junk food.

Bobbles and the kidlets won't eat the same meals though...Also addressed.  It's not much extra time to peel a potato and make a sandwhich at lunchtime!

Its too far and costly to drive to town all the time....So, Don't!  For F..... Sake, you live on a farm!!!  All that land,.....explore it!

Time factor....already proved.  Time can be found


What if I have to drop everything and head back to NZ?   Why?  If its a holiday,,,,,go for walks.  Sick family.....get up early and go for a walk.  It will revitalise you anyway!  Death....well we have just experienced that.  If you get up early and walk it'll help clear the head

My kids are sick..exercise indoors.  Its Wii Active day or star jumps, squats etc

I'm sick or injured....take the time to recover.  However, to prevent this happening then get fitter and healthier NOW

Bobbles is sick or injured....The fitter you are, the better you'll cope!!


On top of that I realised last night I was using certain issues I have and grief also hold me back.  My issues ....well I'm dealing with them and had lightbulb moments last night that I'm certain will really help. 

Grief.....oh how I miss my darling darling Nana!  However, the last time I saw her, a week before she died, she asked if I had lost weight.  It had been 9 months since she'd seen me and she was the only one who noticed!  She looked so proud and excited for me!  So I know she will be excited and proud of me too when that fabulous new person has sprung back....well when I'M BACK!  Love you Nana and miss you so much xxxxxx

So there you go.  My excuses....every single one I could think off.  I'm sure I'll find more along the way but the solutions just haven't been that hard to find yet either.  WHERE THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY.


  1. I have a horrible confession - before i read your blog - I ATE FISH N CHIPS!! and even worse WHILE i was reading I CRAVED CHOCOLATE!! tho i think its just the falvour after the meal im craving LOL. Anyway - I am doing my best to resist - because I want to support you and in doing that i am focusing on STARJUMPS right now - but shit - i might have to jump up and do some shortly cause my mouths watering LOL. BTW - love the chicks name in the book you read - no wonder it was gripping~
    Anyway poos - please dont think that no-one believes in you - you know i do and you know Geoff does - remember what he told brad in NZ in Rotorua- how proud of you he was of you and how much your fittness had improved!! (men SO DONT talk about soppy shit like that usually)!! I am in awe of your determination - lots of people say "im gonna" but never do!! I do it all the time. BUT - you are .. your getting up - EARLY and EXERCISING - both things the old you DESPISED!! I on the other hand - think about it - then roll over and try to go back to sleep! Keep up the hard work and the discovery. I love who you are already - so cant wait to meet this JANIE your going to unleash - and dam girl - she better still wanna 'break the blender' with me!!

  2. I am so proud of you. That's all. Print these out. Now. Kathy

  3. Wow quite a list!!!! Look forward to sharing this journey with you